Laparoscopic Cystectomy and Endometriosis

Seems as if my posting on this blog stopped just as soon as it started, but I was reminded today about how important it is to share my journey, even if, at this point, no one is listening.

Mr D and I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 on leap day for my surgery. We checked in, I changed into my hospital gown, and I got settled into the pre-op room. I have a TERRIBLE needle phobia, but managed to tough it out through the IV (My poor husbands hand may have been slightly broken.. oops!) The surgeon was running late, so my mom had the chance to come back and wait with us for everthing to be ready. We watched TV and I made Mr D take pictures of me... it might look like I'm grabbing my chest, but I was trying to deflate the hot air filled hospital gown!

They took me back to surgery about 11:30, the doctors were all very kind and accomodating, and really helped me feel more comfortable in the minutes before my surgery. The last thing I remember is teh Anesthsiologist asking me about where I like to go hiking, and then I was waking up in post-op!

The pain was pretty intense, and they gave me several doses of morphine (which caused my oxygen levels to drop, and I had to wear oxygen.) It took awhile for them to stabilize me to the point where I could move to recovery. I was pretty loopy and even remember telling the nurse how I don't understand how my dad can wear oxygen all the time because it hurt my nose so badly! Once I was moved over, Mr D was allowed to come back and see me. He says I looked "scary" because I was so out of it and drugged. After a few more hours in recovery, a piece of toast and a walk to the bathroom, they finally released me to go home... about 5 hours later than planned.

We got home and I spent the next few days mostly in bed. I had a really hard time sitting up on my own from a laying down position and was quite bloated the first few days. Mr D helped me a lot, I can't imagine recovering from the surgery alone. I really needed someone to help me to the bathroom, prepare food and help me move pillows and pick things up. I took the narcotics they gave me for a few days, but found that most of the pain came from my body absorbing the gas after surgery. That pain was by far the most terrible part of recovery and I was very happy to see it go away after about 4 days.

It's now been almost 5 weeks since surgery. My scars are healing nicely, and the swelling in my belly button has finally gone down enough that I can see how it looks. The scars are small and I think I can deal with having them for the rest of my life :) Turns out that my endometriosis was pretty bad. The Dr. removed several small cysts from my right fallopian tubes, a very large cyst from my left ovary and extensive implants of endometriosis. It had also caused adhesions that had attached my uterus to my abdominal wall, which she said was probably the source of the majority of my pain during menstruation.

That pretty much sums it up :) I'm happy that the surgery is over, but disappointed that the results were somewhat bad. I guess it could always have been worse, and only time will tell if this will help us get pregnant!

Putting on a smile

Today is day two after my cancelled surgery. I went back to work yesterday, thinking that getting back into my normal routine would help me feel better about the sudden change of plans. On my way to work I thought about how my day would go, how my coworkers would react, and how I would handle it. Let's be honest, I was a hot mess on Wednesday! I decided that if they asked me for details, I would tell them I didn't want to talk about it.

I got to work, and one of my coworkers gave me a hug, I had forgotten how wonderful it is to work with such nice people.

Turns out it made me feel better to talk about all of the details of the morning. I guess getting all of that off of my chest is therapeutic? Either way, my day went well. I kept my chin up, kept a smile on my face, and tried REALLY hard to think of any positives that may have come from this mess.

Disappointment

Yesterday was my scheduled Laparascopic Cystectomy to remove some ovarian cysts and hopefully take care of the endometriosis that has been causing these nasty cramps and the infertility. I have a BIG TIME needle phobia, so getting prepared for this surgery was scary.

We spent the long weekend cleaning the house, preparing meals, catching up on laundry, setting up the month's bills on automatic payments, basically getting completely prepared for the fact that I will be out of commission for about two weeks. I went to work on Tuesday, tied up loose ends, set up my email notification for being out of the office, turned in my keys and left at 6:00 feeling like I was ready.

Mr. D. and I got up at 4:00 AM, I showered with the funny soap spunge they gave me, making certain the clean in my belly button (the nurse had stressed that this part was very important) and got dressed in my favorite Victorias Secret sweats and my favorite tshirt. I took some anti anxiety medicine the Dr. had given me so I wouldn't go all fainty at the nurse when she talked about the IV. We were on our way!

We checked in, were led back to my pre-op room and the nurse asked us all the interviewey questions and made me take a pregnancy test... negative... surprise surprise! I changed into the fancy hospital gown and she hooked up this hose to it that blew hot air in to keep me warm (coolest thing EVER.... can I get that at home?) She started prepping my arm for the IV, and I was surprisingly okay with it. Then they called her name over the intercom, and she politely excused herself, seeming a little confused, and said she would be right back.

The rest is kind of a blur of emotions for me. She came back and said my doctor (who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) is very sick and would not be in for surgeries today. My husband helped me get dressed, he collected our things, and the nice nurse led us back out to the lobby. And we went home.

I was supposed to come home, sleep off the anesthesia, and then have answers to all of these infertility questions. We were supposed to be on our way to starting our family today, and instead I sit here and type this blog post, preparing to go back to work. It was probably the most emotionally difficult day of my life yesterday. I was feeling like I would never be a mom, something would always "come up" to stand in my way. All of the emotional preparation felt like a waste, and I felt like someone ripped the carpet out from under me and I fell flat on my face. I wanted to lay in bed all day and cry, and my sweet Mr. D. just rubbed my back and told me it would be okay. And it will be.

Today I am deciding to choose to be happy. I'll let you know how that goes...

Getting Started

My husband, Mr. D, and I got married in October of 2009. We had a fabulous and rustic fall wedding and celebrated the beginning of our lives together with our family and friends. The whole day was a dream and I feel so lucky every day to have the opportunity to spend my forever with my best friend. We have two labrador retriever mixes, Brock and Rylee Jo, who are our first "children". Together we make up our little family of two (plus two furry babies).

In January of 2010, Mr. D and I decided to start trying to have a family. We knew that we wanted to have children and decided that there was no better time than the present. It was a huge decision and a big change to go from trying not to, to the complete opposite. We went on with life as normal, knowing that sometimes it takes a few months for pregnancy to happen. It wasn't until that summer that I began to suspect that something was wrong. I have always had very painful periods, and have never really been able to find a doctor that believed me about how bad my cramps actually were. I began to suspect that the two problems might be tied together, so as we continued to try, I began doing my own "googling" to try to figure out what could be the problem.


After having very little luck with my family doctor, I started looking for an OB that would be a good fit for me. I visited with a few that told me random things like "The only way to stop your cramps is to get pregnant" and "Your bad reaction to birth control must mean that you're depressed, you should see a psychiatrist". I finally saw my current doctor, Dr. Monica Anselmetti, in June of 2011 and Mr. D and I instantly knew she was the right fit. I had an ultrasound that month to make sure everything looked okay and got the thumbs up that my ovaries and uterus looked fine. After a 4 month course of low hormone birth control (intended to hopefully help the suspected endometriosis) I had another ultrasound, which revealed several ovarian cysts, a possible dermoid cyst and signs of growing endometriosis. A Laparascopic cystectomy was scheduled for February 2012.